you could be happy

You could be happy and I won't know. But you weren't happy the day I watched you go and all the things that I wished I had not said are played on lips 'till it's madness in my head. Is it too late to remind you how we were? But not our last days of silence, screaming, blur ... Most of what I remember makes me sure that I should have stopped you from walking out the door.

You could be happy, I hope you are. You made me happier than I'd been by far. Somehow everything I own smells of you and for the tiniest moment it's all not true. Do the things that you always wanted to without me there to hold you back, don't think, just do. More than anything I want to see you go, take a glorious bite out of the whole world.

I'm sorry...really sorry for what I've done. Wish I could turn back time but I could not. Wish I wasn't a coward but I am. Should I start letting you go... slowly? A part of me not wanting to let you go. Want to hold to that last thread that bind us together. Confusion is what I have now. Smiling face with bleeding heart inside. I'm sinking...sinking into this dark pit. No light to guide me out. How long will I stay in these two worlds?