got secret?

Got any secret that you want to share but too shy/embarrassed to say it? Try PostSecret.com. It started as a public art project for Frank Warren. He started his website of postcard-submitted, artistic, sometimes enigmatic personal admittances, after he went through a period of personal travails. The voices presented on PostSecret can be troubling, tender, hilarious or heartbreaking. Some of the art and graphics may have taken "less than 10 seconds," says Warren. "Others take hours of time and effort."

Warren finds that PostSecret affects different people in different ways. People who have had more fortunate lives may look at some of the submissions and "feel a sense of shock and sometimes repulsion," he says. "That's good -- it shows those folks there's another side [of things]." And for people who are coping with difficulty, he adds, "It allows a sense of solidarity. When I see humility, guilt ... I feel a connection. Maybe my own burdens are lighter."

The project started with 3,000 self-addressed postcards Warren handed out to strangers, asking them to mail back a secret, anonymously. He received about 100 and thought he was done. But "the idea spread in a viral way," he says, and with postcards continuing to trickle in, he started posting several every Sunday on the Web site.PostSecret has now received more than 100,000 cards, up to 200 a day, which have toured the country in exhibitions and appeared in two other books: "PostSecret" and "My Secret."

(taken from cnn.com. To read the whole article, you can visit here)

my six weird facts

I was reading lola's blog and found out about her 6 weird facts about herself. it's kinda funny that we share something in common: don't like dolls and clowns (i think i watched too many scary movies involving dolls and clowns -> chucky is one of the example) and like to check out other people's bedrooms (i like to see how people arrange their own bedroom) :) But well.. those 2 aren't going to be in my weird facts....

1. i like to see bloody and gory scenes (most involve human bodies).
2. i have a fantasy of touching/squeezing real and alive human brain and heart (wish i could see a real human brain and it's still attached to the skull of course. not the one that's already being preserved).
3. i love spoilers: movies and books
4. i like to read magazines, newspapers from the last page and work my way to the front page. this also happens for novels. i will read till the middle part and then jump to the last chapter to see the ending and continue reading again if the ending is good.
5. i love to sleep in total darkness. will definitely try to block lights from outside window + door, and electronic stuff inside my room.
6. i like to check other girls out ~ especially their butts and other assets.

hmmm i bet i still have other weird facts somewhere... but for now this will do :) anyway, have a great weekend.

in case of emergency

I was browsing abc.com and they had the preview for the newly comedy tv series "in case of emergency". after watching the clip, i downloaded the first episode and watched it last night. I have to say I like this new show. it's really funny and they have couple good actors in it. david arquette is in the show and also kelly hu! surprise to find her in tv shows (remember X2 and scorpion king?). well the other person that i didn't expect was greg germann. he used to play in ally mcbeal as richard fish, the weird bos. This is the synopsis taken from the website:
"Jason (David Arquette), Harry (Jonathan Silverman), Sherman (Greg Germann) and Kelly (Kelly Hu) are old friends from high school who find themselves at that stage where they realize that their lives didn't turn out exactly the way they'd planned. Unhappily divorced greeting card writer Harry goes for a relaxing "massage" only to discover his scantily clad "therapist" is Kelly, their high school valedictorian, who's had her own fall from grace. Diet Guru Sherman returns home to discover his wife has left him and taken everything he owns; devastated by the loss, he hijacks a bakery truck and binges on all its contents. Faced with imprisonment for his role in a corporate scandal, financial whiz Jason botches his suicide attempt only to shoot himself in the foot -- literally. Over the course of one crazy evening, a series of calamities reunites this hapless brood at Los Angeles Westside Hospital, where they all find themselves under the care of a reluctant Dr. Joanna (Lori Loughlin). This band of misfits must now start their lives over with the new realization that they've only got each other, In Case of Emergency."
if you haven't seen it, you should try to watch it. I'm curious to see the next episodes and how well the stories will develop.

new year or just another day?

For some reason I dont feel this new year as really a NEW year....seems like another day. come and go without any meaning. lots of people make new year resolutions such as exercise more or have a healthy lifestyle. but for this year i dont really have any resolutions to make.. well i kinda decided to be more positive towards my life. start to stop worrying about small stuff. what's the point of worrying about your life 5 years from now and forget that you have today to worry about. sometimes i tend to do that. thinking way ahead of me and start worrying what if x happens or y happens and doubts slowly creeping their way into my head.
Live each day as if it were your last day on earth. I read that quote just a little while ago. I've spent, seemingly every day of my life living for tomorrow. Planning for the future. Part of the future that I planned for long ago is now here and it's nothing like what I've planned. I was too worried about tomorrow that sometimes i missed the fun that life can bring. What if there's no tomorrow? we aren't guaranteed a tomorrow, not ever. tomorrow may never come, and then i will have wasted my today.
well anyway...i'm just hoping that everything will turn out to be okay for this year.

british invasion

Again, it all started with grey's anatomy. I checked couple artists from their soundtracks and found what I like. So I downloaded couple albums from bands like Snow Patrol, The Dears, Jem, Rufus and martha Wainwright, Joe purdy, KT Tunstall, Damien Rice to every single songs featured from season 1 to season 2. while downloading songs, i noticed that most of the bands are british/irish. so i guess i'm in the mood for those mellow songs at the moment. Here is the video of "set the fire to the third bar" from Snow Patrol and Martha wainwright. one of my fave songs ("it's fan-bloody-tastic!")

also different videos from jem , a Welsh songstress. it's called "they"

and an unplugged version of "flying high", featuring in grey's anatomy season 2 ep 20-band aid covers the bullet hole. She sounds just as wonderful (if not better) live as she does on her CD! It's exactly the same as on her album. what a great performance and voice.

well this isn't my first time posting stuff about music from grey's and not going to be my last i think :) there's so many good music from that series :p

9 crimes + new day

I found it!!! one of the ending song from the last episode of Grey's anatomy. It's called 9 crimes by Damien Rice. Such an amazing live performance. Beautiful song and awesome voice (the same band that sang "the blowers daughter" from Closer).


Also introducing kate havnevik, one of my new fave singer. Her song "Grace" from season 2 grey's anatomy really got me into listening to her other songs. Actually couple of her songs were featured in grey's anatomy (unlike me + nowhere warm - season 2, so-lo + kaleidoscope - season 3). I've been itching to get my hand on her new album but it's so hard to find one. amazon sells it for $27!! (i guess they have to import it from UK). well hopefully her album will come to North America. Back to one of the ending songs from last episode of grey's anatomy: it's called "new day" by kate havnevik. this is what i can find from youtube... sorry for the bad quality.

from a whisper to a scream

In some ways, betrayal is inevitable.
When our bodies betray us, surgery is often the key to recovery.
When we betray each other, the path to recovery is less clear.
We do whatever it takes to rebuild the trust that was lost.
And then there are some wounds, some betrayals... that are so deep, so profound that there is no way to repair what was lost.
And when that happens, there's nothing left to do but wait.

fall/winter + thanksgiving

First it was autumn. Nice and cold days. Didn't expect to be this freezing around November. It seems winter has come early. I went out today to post office and looked what I've found! Snow. Snow in Fall? Well from the forecast, it's going to snow until Tuesday and that means i need to bundle up... i hate freezing cold weather. This is what the forecast says "Tuesday, day in seattle: very cold with clouds and sun, 0 C highest and -5C lowest" . Well in between that.. it's thanksgiving holidays in here. Had 4 days off. Time to relax and off course shopping. Went to the premium outlets on Thursday midnight, and that was going to be my first and last one. the lines were super long (both outside and inside). so in the end didn't buy stuff on that day. I went to northgate mall with anissa the next day and got something for my mom, a christmas gift. Saturday afternoon... went out again to downtown to look around and got a perfect b'day/christmas gift for my sis. A pair of flats that she's been dying to get. Nice and comfy shoes... thinking of trying it out first for a month hahahaha but then again i realize what if she has to return it? sigh.. oh well.. not a good plan i guess :) After that, went to look for something for my lil sis and my dad.. i did manage to get something for him. just hoping he can memorize how to use it and really use it. haven't found something for my lil sis yet. i'll just let dian to get stuff for her and we can split the costs :) Oh.. i went to university village on thanksgiving day (nov 23). QFC was the only store that opened. Uvill looks so deserted and empty. I took couple pictures using my phone.

negative energy

mellow songs + depressive/pessimistic conversations = melancholy/despondency/depression attack or in short word: anxiety attack! sigh... why is everything has to be in negative moods for this couple few days? so many worries, so many unanswered questions, so many what if. I wish i had a river to skate away on and just forget everything and quit this crazy scene. I wish i had a river so long i would teach my feet to fly. Damn it... i hate this anxiousness. not only i have to worry about my own personal problems, but also worry about certain matters that just got dropped into my lap. making things a bit more complicated....i'm starting to think maybe i need those anti-depressant medication (well rest assured that i am not that kind of person to depend on drugs to solve problems :-p drugs will just make things even worse i think).

oh how nice it is to forget everything. i wish i could get a brain transplant ( i want mcdreamy to operate hehehehe) and start everything new again (wishful thinking). but then again.. i bet in 5 years from now, i'll have a different point of view and when i look back at what have happened, i'll be able to laugh it off and say how silly i was.

how to safe a life

Can't resist to post this lyric - The Fray "How to Safe a Life" (someone was saying that he decided not to kill himself after listening to this song :-p). Currently loving this song. Heard it from Gray's Anatomy. It was ok at first but for some reason after listening to it over and over, i'm starting to like it more and more. well... i bet this will be overplayed soon enough on the radio. not only kiss 106.1, but star 101.5 and mix 92.5 are also playing this song at the moment. the same thing goes for "Chasing Cars" - Snow Patrol. overplayed. Speaking of overplayed music, Danity Kane's showstopper is consider as one. I don't mind their music but i think they aren't that great - mediocre. they don't put their energy into the song and seriously, i don't think they have talents at all. their voices are so so, nothing special whatsoever. they are just using their sex appeal to sell their song. p diddy needs to pick better singers/vocalists in the future.

-------------------------------------------------------
The Fray - How to Safe a Life

Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it’s just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you’ve told him all along
And pray to God he hears you

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you’ve followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he’ll say he’s just not the same
And you’ll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

some people...

That I’m crazy. Its often very simple like that.

Some people say that I’m true.
Some people call me quiet.
Some people know I’m a friend.
Some people realize who I am.

Yet no one knows, as my life is often changing.
They witness, as my reality zips on by.
Everything changing at the drop of a dime.
I wonder, is living life my only crime?

No one would know. It is often lost in the past.

No one would know
The simple thoughts I shared with them
No one would know
The moment I stood behind them, without ever being there
No one would know
The feeling I had when I looked them in the eye
No one would know
if I was just dreaming, losing myself in believing

Yet they see me, wandering through life and asking questions
They ponder my actions, as much as I wonder about my own
Every step, leading to another, a question upon itself
and I find myself being the only one who reached the answer

So I ask, if not for myself, would I still ask for you?

I simply accept life,
one step at a time
I move forward
taking a breath
and viewing the world again
from a vantage no one shares

and I care
to look back,
to reach out
and hope
that I’ll find someone
just like you

love and coffee

Love is like a cup of freshly brewed coffee on a cold September morning -- sweet, addictive, hot enough to scald your tongue, warm enough to keep you drinking it anyway, and potent enough to leave a tingling feeling throughout your body and a bitter aftertaste in your mouth long after the last drop is gone...

designer flash drives

My sister told me about these cute flash drives from mimoco a while ago and I haven't bothered to check mimoco's website until today. They are so adorable! Almost got me thinking about buying one :) but too bad they are a bit pricey...Well for now, i'll just look around.

what i've been up to lately

went to snow patrol concert on sept 20, 2006. it's really been a while since i went to any music concerts. it was a nice concert. the opening band, surprisingly, was better than what i expected. Augustana, an indie rock band from illinois (i think... they didn't say where the exact place they came from...they made their first record in Atlanta, Georgia). one of their song, Boston, has been on my winamp player for this past few days. nice vocal, nice songs. i think both bands have a similar kind of music...melancholy rock.

other than that...i haven't been doing much. lazying around before school starts (by the way, school already started few weeks ago). ohh almost forgot to mention about the new season of grey's anatomy (s3). the long awaited show (well not that long as i've been watching season 1 and 2 like crazy just before the third season started. made it in time though). the third season started off a bit slow but the second episode turned out to be unexpected and interesting. McSteamy is back again and will stay for this season! found the show by accident and luckily i watched it just in time before they took it off from youtube.

One more tv series that got my attention: "Heroes". i watched the first and second episodes and so far it's pretty good. here's the summary of heroes (taken from www.tv.com):
"Heroes is a serial saga about people all over the world discovering that they have superpowers and trying to deal with how this change affects their lives. The relatable superheroes include Peter Petrelli, a 30-year-old male nurse who believes can fly, Diego Medina, a 28-year-old junkie who has the ability to paint images of the future when he is high, Niki Sanders, a 33-year-old Las Vegas showgirl who can do incredible things with mirrors, Hiro Makamura, a 24-year-old Japanese comic-book geek who literally makes time stand still, D.L. Hawkins, a 31-year-old inmate who can transport himself through walls, Matt Parkman, a beat cop who can hears other people's thoughts, and Claire Bennet, 17-year-old cheerleader who defies death at every turn. Not only are they discovering what having superpowers means to them but also the larger picture of where their superpowers come from. Eventually their superpowers draw them together when they try to evade the series' antagonist who wants to harness their super-DNA for himself. Their ultimate destiny is nothing less than saving the world."

well other than that, i'm not really doing anything else...hmm my room is messy (again and will always be....). anyone wants to volunteer cleaning up my room hehehehehhe??

grey's anatomy

Just finished watching Grey's Anatomy: Season 2. Can't wait for the third season to come :-) So far it's pretty good...really like the stories, and the characters. oh and i also love the songs! I downloaded every songs from season 1 and season 2 plus the OST 1 and 2 :-p talk about being maniac.....or addicted.... :-p

for the moment.. can't have enough of the ending (S2). The last 2 songs: grace and chasing cars are really perfect for the last scenes.


I'm on my knees
only memories
are left for me to hold

Dont know how
but Ill get by
Slowly pull myself together

Theres no escape
So keep me safe
This feels so unreal

Nothing comes easily
Fill this empty space
Nothing is like it seems
Turn my grief to grace

I feel the cold
Loneliness unfold
Like from another world

Come what may
I wont fade away
But I know I might change

Nothing comes easily
Fill this empty space
Nothing is like it was
Turn my grief to grace

Nothing comes easily
Where do I begin?
Nothing can bring me peace
Ive lost everything
I just want to feel your embrace

feeling annoyed....

blarrghh....i've been fairly annoyed with my coworker for these couple days. well not that much but maybe when i'm working, i tend to do everything at my pace and hate it when someone interrupt mine or even worse slow me down. well this lady that i'm working with... she's nice and friendly but she hasn't worked for a while (a while = a looooong period of time). She doesn't know anything about word or excel....well thank goodness she knows how to type! ditambah lagi...it takes her longer to digest some information down (well maybe her age got something to do with it) and sometimes when i explain stuff to her, she keeps asking the same questions that i've answered....that really frustrate me....ignorance is bliss but maybe in this line of work, it's not...if you know that you are lacking in certain area, why not try to improve it?

second thing....."jam karet"-nya orang indonesia (promise to meet at certain time but fail to show up in timely manner...aka being tardy). this happened to me couple days ago where my friend told us that she was going to pick us up in 10 minutes but 10 minutes went by and it was almost 1 hour before she showed up. by that time, it was already a bit too late as i had to work in the morning. well that's not the first experience...it also happened to me during indonesian mass last month. it stated in the email that the mass was going to start at 1 pm...but it was not. it started 20 minutes after 1. yeah... that sucks. that's why...whenever there's time involved (with indonesian), i always take it with a grain of salt.

caesarean birth triples maternal death risk

"LOS ANGELES, California (Reuters) -- A Caesarean delivery more than triples a woman's risk of dying in childbirth compared to a vaginal birth, according to a new study from France.
The risk is still quite small, but many developed countries have seen a dramatic rise in the number of Caesareans performed each year as more women elect to avoid a vaginal delivery.
Researchers, led by Catherine Deneux-Tharaux of the Maternite Hopital Tenon in Paris, looked at 65 maternal deaths recorded in the French National Perinatal Survey from 1996 to 2000.
All of the deaths followed births of a single child and were not due to conditions existing prior to delivery. The women had also not been hospitalized during pregnancy.
The researchers found that the risk of death -- from blood clots, infection or complications from anesthesia -- was 3.6 times higher for women who had Caesareans.
The risk of death after childbirth was increased whether or not the Caesarean was performed before the onset of labor or during labor.
The study was published in the September issue of Obstetrics & Gynecology.
Although rates of maternal death in most developed countries are relatively low -- U.S. women have a 1 in 3,500 chance of pregnancy-related death -- the incidence of maternal mortality has not significantly decreased in the last two decades, according to American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists."

- taken from CNN.com

the prayer

I pray you'll be our eyes
And watch us where we go
And help us to be wise
In times when we don't know

Let this be our prayer
As we go our way
Lead us to a place
Guide us with your Grace
To a place where we'll be safe

The light that you give us
I pray we'll find your light
Will stay in our hearts
And hold it in our hearts
Reminding us
When stars go out each night
That in my prayer
You are an everlasting star
Let this be our prayer
There's so much faith
When shadows fill our day
Lead us to a place
Guide us with your grace

Give us faith so we'll be safe
We dream of a world with no more violence
A world of justice and hope
Grasp your neighbors hand
As a symbol of peace and brotherhood

The strength that you give us
We ask that life be kind
Is the wish
And watch us from above
That everyone may find love
We hope each soul will find
In and around himself
Another soul to love

Let this be our prayer
Just like every child

Needs to find a place,
Guide us with your grace
Give us faith so we'll be safe

And the faith that
You've lit inside us
I feel will save us

addicted to technology

couple days ago i went out to do some grocery shopping....cuma pergi ke safeway di 85th st., which is not very far from my apartment. paling2 15 min drive from my place. pas di tangga safeway, i was thinking about my cellphone and checked inside my bag. crap... i just realized i forgot my cellphone!! at first i thought i left it in the car but after squeezing my brain, trying to remember, i had a feeling that i left it inside my bedroom. since i couldn't do anything about it and hoping that no one called me (for some reasons, everytime i forgot my phone, it ended up with several missed calls from "no number" --> parents or sister yelling at me to return my mom's phone call), i went downstairs. well well well..... i couldn't stop thinking about my damn phone!!!! i practically just grabbed whatever i needed and went straight to the cashier. the first thing i did when i got home was run to my bedroom and checked my phone.....phewww it was there -_-; dang it!!!! how can a cell phone affect you that much????
well not only cellphone but also internet....i don't think i can live without internet connection...it's definitely going to drive me nuts (well maybe for couple months before my brains start accepting the evil truth that there's no internet connection... :p). anyway... technologies are made to help human, right? but i kinda feel that we are being enslaved by them.....are we? as long i have my computer, internet connection and my cell phone, i am happy. so i guess.... i am addicted to technology.

"I'm a slave for you. I cannot hold it; I cannot control it. I'm a slave for you. I won't deny it; I'm not trying to hide it."

million dollar baby

Saw this last night without knowing what to expect. I hadn't read the reviews for it, only knew that they won oscars and couple other awards. Eastwood definitely has made his best movie. Swank carries the film and is at her absolute best. Swank is Maggie just like Foxx is Ray. The last 45 minutes are some of the most powerful film-making I can remember. It's sad but at the same time it's a good ending. Flawlessly written, acted and directed. Million Dollar Baby is a masterpiece. You may cry through this film, you may cheer. Whatever the case, you will love it.